Friday, April 15, 2016

I'm Leaving You

No. It’s not you.
It’s me. It’s always been me.

I remember the first time we met. It was early 2000.
I was young and just graduated from Mechanical Engineering.
I didn’t have any job.
I was desperate. That’s when I met you.
It was like love at first sight.
I spent sleepless nights just to know you.
And more and more I spent time with you, more and more I love you.

I spent time with several others, but my mind and heart were always be with you.
I knew I have to get to you, at any cost.
Even if I had to sacrifice.
Even if I had to leave my home in Dubai.
Even if I had to leave all my friends behind.

Finally in 2006 we were officially together.
I remember it was November, in Singapore.
I couldn’t describe how happy I was.

I traveled many countries in Asia Pacific for you.
I never asked questions. I was a very happy man.
And you invited me several times to visit your home in California.
I was living my dream.

You asked me to move back to Dubai with you in 2008.
A request that I didn’t refuse nor question at once.
You made me travel to many countries in Europe and Middle East.
You made me witness the beauty of African countries.
Once you even asked me to spend time in Central and South America.
You gave me chances to show myself at your special events.
You made me happier.
You made me a better man.

As the years went by, something changed.
Something inside me wanted to be unleashed.
I wanted more.
I’m still in love with you, but I wanted to do more.
I wanted to go out and meet others.
I wanted to be more useful, wanted to make greater impact.
I grew impatient and wanted new things to happen quicker.
I wanted to use my spare time to talk to others, to try to inspire.
Wanted to share my enthusiasm with others.
And even though whenever I went out I always spoke about how wonderful you are, I could feel that you started noticing that something has changed.

We’ve been together for quite some time.
We’ve been through some high and low time together.
Knowing how far we have reached together, I should be able to handle such thing like this.
I was supposed to be able to convince you how much I love you.
I was supposed to tell you I’m still the same person, nothing has changed.
I was supposed to be a better man.

However, this time I let myself to make a different decision.
I wanted to break free from the relationship.
I admitted I was scared at beginning.
I was scared to make the change.
But I believe it’s necessary.

It always hurts to say goodbye.
But this is the right thing to do.
This is the best for both of us.

I’m leaving you, Cisco.

Thank you for our time together the past 10 years.
Thank you for giving me the special feeling the past 16 years.

It’s time for me to move on.
To chase my destiny. To build my own legacy.

You were, and will continue to be, my special one.
Goodbye for now.