Friday, April 15, 2016

I'm Leaving You

No. It’s not you.
It’s me. It’s always been me.

I remember the first time we met. It was early 2000.
I was young and just graduated from Mechanical Engineering.
I didn’t have any job.
I was desperate. That’s when I met you.
It was like love at first sight.
I spent sleepless nights just to know you.
And more and more I spent time with you, more and more I love you.

I spent time with several others, but my mind and heart were always be with you.
I knew I have to get to you, at any cost.
Even if I had to sacrifice.
Even if I had to leave my home in Dubai.
Even if I had to leave all my friends behind.

Finally in 2006 we were officially together.
I remember it was November, in Singapore.
I couldn’t describe how happy I was.

I traveled many countries in Asia Pacific for you.
I never asked questions. I was a very happy man.
And you invited me several times to visit your home in California.
I was living my dream.

You asked me to move back to Dubai with you in 2008.
A request that I didn’t refuse nor question at once.
You made me travel to many countries in Europe and Middle East.
You made me witness the beauty of African countries.
Once you even asked me to spend time in Central and South America.
You gave me chances to show myself at your special events.
You made me happier.
You made me a better man.

As the years went by, something changed.
Something inside me wanted to be unleashed.
I wanted more.
I’m still in love with you, but I wanted to do more.
I wanted to go out and meet others.
I wanted to be more useful, wanted to make greater impact.
I grew impatient and wanted new things to happen quicker.
I wanted to use my spare time to talk to others, to try to inspire.
Wanted to share my enthusiasm with others.
And even though whenever I went out I always spoke about how wonderful you are, I could feel that you started noticing that something has changed.

We’ve been together for quite some time.
We’ve been through some high and low time together.
Knowing how far we have reached together, I should be able to handle such thing like this.
I was supposed to be able to convince you how much I love you.
I was supposed to tell you I’m still the same person, nothing has changed.
I was supposed to be a better man.

However, this time I let myself to make a different decision.
I wanted to break free from the relationship.
I admitted I was scared at beginning.
I was scared to make the change.
But I believe it’s necessary.

It always hurts to say goodbye.
But this is the right thing to do.
This is the best for both of us.

I’m leaving you, Cisco.

Thank you for our time together the past 10 years.
Thank you for giving me the special feeling the past 16 years.

It’s time for me to move on.
To chase my destiny. To build my own legacy.

You were, and will continue to be, my special one.
Goodbye for now.


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Endra said...

Om him... i'm in tears... to know your 1st love with cisco from beginning...Hope you'll be success with your new dream..

Eric Leung said...

Thanks for everything from you. Like to read your blog so much. Now I am a CCIE. Hope you will keep it on blogging

CCIEHolic said...

All the best for you Sir....keep inspired us

Hassan Hbar ( said...

All the best Himawan. I like to read you since 2008. I wish that you continue to inspire us by your experience and writing you are sharing. Your compatriot should b proud of you as you are sharing your knowledge with them and pushing them to be like you.

Evet Hestara said...

Bikin perusahaan apa nih, Mas?

Himawan Nugroho said...

Listen to the soundtrack while reading it ;-)

leonardo l said...

carpe diem!

Anonymous said...


And I really feel happy and sad at the same time. Hope there would be someone to make such an impact as you have in this community.

I have been inspired by your person and work since 2009.

All the best man..

rashida said...

Good Choice....Build Your Dream By Self...not dream some one

mdsudirman said...

so, what Next nih Mas Himawan ?

Anonymous said...

This is such a confusing article. It's like people spend hours trying to obtain the CCIE and then after obtaining it for a while, then some complain of having it. Maybe the pressure of having the ccie is what drives some people to not have to deal with the pressures of re-certification and answering to the masses of always having to know everything about networking. maybe it is like being filthy rich and only those who are multi millionaires know what it's like to have all the money in the world and having to deal with the haves and have nots of the world.

Anonymous said...

I never completely undestood if I had to admire you or take you as a good example. I followed your careed progression since 2007(more or less), I saw your live was pretty packed, that you were red bull addicted ..... and I looked at you as an inspiration. Now honestly...I have some doubts. Perhaps I am getting older and I am losing my passion for Cisco and technology....but did I really wanted to become like somebody that nowadays looks like a workaholic? Are we part of a marketing strategy put in place by Cisco?!

Gwen said...

A heartfelt poem

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